The Shadow the Hedgehog Story
by Dr.Negrobotnik
Summary: When Shadow the Hedgehog gets jury duty... One of 6 stories in the Sonic's Lost Untold Tales series! The storytelling style is inspired by Sonic Adventure, so read them in any order you like!


**In Vivid Memory of Some Faggot: I Don't Fuckin' Know-2016**

Shadow the Hedgehog woke up. It was a Jury Duty day. Shadow the Hedgehog hated Jury Duty. He needed to de-stress. Shadow pried open the floorboards of the beat up shack he called his home, and took out the corpse of Princess Elise the Third the Human and proceeded to Necrofuck her in the mouth.

It's normal to want what you cannot have, and since Shadow the Hedgehog cannot die, he loved fucking him some dead chicks?! Shadow the Hedgehog had obtained this fine specimen after the Festival of the Sun. She was alone, kinda sad about some unimportant shit, or whatever. The important thing is that Shadow the Hedgehog dragged her underwater, slit her throat open, and fucked her open neck scar while under the cooling rapids of Soleanna's island waters while she was still trying to stay alive, gasping for air.

Once Shadow the Hedgehog climaxed, he re-dressed Elise the the Thrid Human, and rolled her back into his corpse pile, along with Marine the Raccoon, Andrea the Hedgehog, Minx the Cheeta, Lita the Hedgehog, Cosmo the Seedrian, and Sigma the American Mink. He was going to plow the corpse of Chris Thorndyke, but while Shadow the Hedgehog may enjoy rape, necrophilia, pedophila, rape, murder, eye-hole fucking, rape, scat, Scatman John, terrorism, Jihad, and rape, he was still above being a homosexual.

Shadow the Hedgehog updated his Tumblr account, where he held the title for greatest social justice champion to some, and world's greatest faggot to others.

"Lik, I hav jury dty today. jus another fprm of systematic imortal bio-enginered space-alien hedgehog oprresion. fuk the sestm. not evryon can be wite males with 2 dics, lik TAILS!11!1!1! fuk da polce, :) _#feminism, #activism #sexism #racism #ablism #agism #bigotism #Nazism #3rdReichFeminism #BlackHedgehogsMatter_

With his mark made on the world, he left his dainty shack to head of the Mobian Court, a true hero.

Shadow the Hedgehog, like most black tumblr deities, was now in court. He didn't really know or care what the crime was about, he mostly just texted on his phone and waited to give a verdict. Whoever looked less/more like a total jackass he would rule in favor of.

Suddenly, Charmy the Bee, who was on trial turned around and showed off porn of Cream the Rabbit being plowed in the ass by...

"MARIAAAAA!?" Shadow the Hedgehog yelled, by god… This picture…. It looks so life like. SHE MUST STILL BE ALIVE SOMEWHERE! AND WITH A PENIS! People began panicking over some bullshit that was going on, maybe some court related epic reveal. Who cares? Shadow the Hedgehog jumped into Charmy the Bee's stand, snatched the photo while Charmy the Bee was mysteriously blacked out, possibly due to some form of demonic spirit that was possessing him (Shadow the Hedgehog too had these problems), and jumped out the god damned mother fucking window.

There was only one person he knew that has downloaded enough gigatons of busty woman getting fucked in the ass by futas to help him… Omega the Robot.

Shadow the Hedgehog knocked on Omega the Robot's whore-fur encrusted mansion door. (You may be asking. Why whore fur? Well let me ask you. What's more pimping than gold, man? And I'll tell you. The fur of whores!)

"SCANNING, SCANNING, SCANNING" The door scanner said, scanning Shadow the Hedgehog's ULTIMATE LIFEFORM! cock for identification. "IDENTITY: SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG, WELCOME BACK, NIGGA" The door then burst open, revealing Omega the Robot's crib.

The mansion was filled with hot tubs filled with hot, busty fan-character sluts ready suck his bionic cock at any given moment. Omega the Robot after the events of Sonic Heroes was changed since Rouge the Bat gave him a friendship tit-fuck after Metal Sonic was killed for the 27th time. He engineerified a cock onto his robot body, with several sex based addons, like adjustable size, girth, and cum frequency settings. Don't ask where he gets the cum. He buys cum off the Black Market. (Chao Kindergartens have EVERYTHING!) After that, ladies everywhere wanted a piece of the ultimate dildo, and have been paying top dollar for it.

Shadow the Hedgegog busted down the door to Omega the Ronot's Master Sex Room.

"OMEGA! GET THAT WHORE'S MOUTH OFF YOUR COCK AND HELP ME!" Shadow the Hedgehoe yelled.

"Woah, man, chill the fuck out for a second, bro, what's the problem?"

"I need help, I think I found evidence of…. MARIAAAAAAAA!'s existence!"

"Last time you came to me about this, you found a 50 year old picture you forgot about in your 'pocket.'"

"IT'S DIFFERENT THIS TIME! Just scan it!"

"Fine, nigs, just gimmie a second… SCANNING….. SCANNING… SCANNING…"

It was obvious, this was just a normal picture drawn by Charmy the Bee. He's a good artist, and his above average drawing skills must have fooled Shadow the Hedgehog's tiny tumblr brain. However, he knows Shadow the Hedeghog is going to try and kick the shit out of him again, so he had to come up with something. He does not want more whore bloodshed today. Whore blood never comes out.

"This picture was taken in White Space. Notice the white background? This means it was taken in a place of pure white. White Space."

"White Space…. YES! THAT HAS TO BE IT! Omega the Robot, you're a genius!" In reality, Charmy the Bee just didn't want to draw a background, but whatever made Shadow the Hedgehog happy, Omega the Robot was Shadow the Hedgehog's great nephew, after all. Even if he sends way too much fucking time on Tumblr.

"We need to get the gang back together, Omega the Robut!"

"Sure thing, fucker, I'll call Rouge the Slut."

"You have her hashtag?"

"You mean her number?"

"The church of Tumblr says it's hashtag, shitlord!"  
"Oh. Of course I have that shit, who do you think I get all these exsotic whores from? The whore fairy? No, I bought half of these exsotic fuckers from Rouge the Bat, she's a fucking exotic Whore tycoon agent, and the best of her league."

"Wow, I guess you learn something new everyday."

"You know it, my black bro-ham."

Omega the Robot collect called Rogue the Whore Fairy. She arrived quickly enough. She was always game for another one of Shadow's pointless MARIAAAAAA! hunts, she's always able to at least make a quick buck during them. Team Dark was once again reunited.

"So how are we going to get to get to White Space?" Asked Shadow the Hedgehog, which pained him since Shadow couldn't stand white people.

"Assumptions would go to dad, he always has some form of dumbass invention that can get us anywhere (and he owes me fifty-grand)."

"Eggman?"

"Yup, dad."

"Sweet, I've been itching for some torture action. Let's go darlings!" Rogue said, and Shadow the Hedgehog Chaos Controlled them the the Egg-Fleet, because he apparently had a Chaos Emerald… The Green one, of course, no other one would settle.

The trio teleported to Eggman's giant air-craft, where they were politely greeted by a wave of gunfire. Shadow the Hedgehog was immortal, and would just regenerate, and Omega the Robot was a robot, so he was imperveus to bullets, and Rouge the Bat was a woman, so the bullets just bounced off her boobies and butt.

The trio of sexy bastards made it to Eggman's control room, where Eggman was jerking off to a picture of Bayonetta the Bitch. Omega the Robot blasted his PC screen into pieces with a rocket.

"MUST ERADICATE ALL EGGMAN MACHINES!"

"WHAT THE FUCK!? I mean… Welcome, fools, to the Egg-" Eggman was then immediately hit over the head with Rogue the Bat's signed Babe Ruth baseball bat.

When Eggman awoke, he was tied down to a chair. It was time for Shadow the Hedgehog to give his nephew a good, old fashioned, ghetto ass beating.

"Where's MARIAAAAAAAAAA!?" Yelled Shadow the Hedgehog

"What!? She's dead!" Eggman replied

"Shut up, dad! How do we reach White Space?"

"I'LL NEVER TELL YOU… Not until you're older, anyway, son."

"Wrong Answer" Rouge the Bat said. She then sent her signed bat right into Eggman's egg-sack.

"NEVER!" He yalled again. Shadow the Hedgehog then pimp slapped his fat bald face.

"NEVER!" Omega the Robot then shoved Eggman dick into his Gatling gun, and began to rev it up, causing it to spin out of control until it eventually snapped off.

"NEEEVEEEER!" Shadow the Hedgehog grabbed Eggman's left egg-sack, and Rouge the Bat grabbed his right egg-sack. They then crushed the sacks within their hands, like a team.

"NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!" Omega the Robot then shoved his cock into his dad's dick stump, and began thrusting, while Shadow the Hedgehog began fucking his nephew in the ass, and Rogue the Bat flew up and began choking Eggman with her vagina. Together, they ultra-raped him using the REAL SUPERPOWER OF TEAMWORK!

"MMMMMMPH" Eggman yelled, trying to get words out of Rouge the Bat's sweaty, yet somewhat tangy, yeast infected vagina. She stopped forcing oral on him for a second, sadly cutting short the best mustache ride she's had in weeks.

"I SURRENDER!" The Ultra-Rape stopped. "HERE IS THE KEY TO WHITE SPACE! JUST STOOOOOOOOOOP!"

The team took the Key to White Space, and shoved it up Eggman's ass. Eggman then imploded into a portal to White Space.

White Space was very…. White. Shadow the Hedgehog fucking hated it.

"Omega the Robot, scan this place for signs of MARIAAAAAAA! so we can get the hell out of here. It reeks of…. White Power."

Omega the Robot scanned, and found something. The gang followed him through the endless….. White.

Eventually, they found a white town filled with all of the deceased sonic characters, including all the people Shadow the Hedgehog killed, and put under his floorboards for corpse fucking.

Shadow the Hedgehog passivly walked past the hoard of pissed off dead people trying to rip his dick off. Some succeeded, but it just grew back. He started scanning the area for... "MARIAAAAAAAAAAA!"

There she was! MARIAAAAAAAA! Omega the Robot was absolutly Dumbstruck that she was actually here!

"I guess White Space is real, and is where the dead go when deceased… Huh, I guess Shadow actually was onto something for once in his pathetic life."

"I suppose this means **JAHANNAM** (Hell in the Secret Rings! ;D) isn't real afterall." said Rouge the Bat.

Shadow the Hedgehog immidietly attampted to mouth fuck MARIAAAAAAA!, but she karate chopped him in the testicals, stole the White Space key, and jammed it into the Eggman that came to White Space post death. He then imploded into a portal out of White Space, double killing him.

"MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!."

"Really nigga? An entire paragraph? Come one." Said Rogue the Bat, finally getting sick of Shadow the Hedgehog's Black Bull shit (like the boss in Shadow the hedeghog, lol)

"WE NEED TO GET BACK TO HER!"

"Well, we're kinda trapped in White Space, so there's no real way to get out."

"Not so fast Rouge the Bat! I have the NECRONOMICON!"

"The Necronimicon, huh?" Said a familer voice

"Oh hi Wave the Swallow, how's death, baby doll?" Said Rouge the Bat. It was Wave the Swallow.

"Can I borrow that? I need to get even with Jet the Hawk."

"HMMPH" Shadow the Hedgehog said, clutching his Necronomicon. Shadow the Hedgeho was a necrophile, so the Necronomicon was the sexiest porn legally available to him. He had to rob four banks just to get enough rings to afford it.

"I'll give it back once I'm done, you won't even know it's missing! I just need to rebirth myself with it!"

"... FINE! But be careful, the pages are sticky." Replied Shadow the Hedgehog.

"Well how are we going to escape White Space without it?" asked Rouge the Dumb Bitch

"Easy, I'll use the Second Chaos Emerald you have between your tits, and time travel back in time BEFORE we went to White Space! It's fool proof!" Replied Shadow the Twice as Dumb Bitch.

The gang circled up, and prepared for the time travel warp.

"CHAOS-

"TAKE ME WITH YOU! I HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO LIVE FOR!" Yelled Vector the Alligator, jumping into the middle of the Chaos Time Warp

-CONTROL!"

The team and Vector the Alligator suddenly warped back in time, but due to Vector the Alligator's interference, they went back too far, and were back in the Courtroom.

The Group + Vector the Allegory was warped into the Courtroom, right when Charmy the Bee showed off his picture of MARIAAAAAAA!, However, it was the trio of rapists and the Dead person that the courtroom came to speak the trial of that cause a mass commotion.

Shadow decided to Bannana Split out of the Courtroom before he could make eye-contact with himself from the past, for making contact with your past self would destroy the Multi-Verse, which would have been fine to Shadow the Hedgehog, but it would also destroy the corpses, which he needed for "me-time". Thankfully, his past self was too mesmerized by Charmy the Bee's MARIAAAAAAA! Porn that he did not notice his past self jump out a window to get out of the Courtroom.

Omega the Robot and Chamry the Bee were also best bros, so he decided to help Charmy's the Bee's lawyer, Big the Cat out in proocing Charmy the B's innocence

"This porn was drawn in White Space. The place where the dead go to die. Charmy the Be draws his porn based on memory. Ergo, there's only one explanation for how Charmy the Pornographer drew this. Ergo, Charmy the Bee is a Death Lord with a subconcious connection to White Space. Ergo, that's badass, dude."

The courtroom was so enlightened by Omega the Robot's words of wisdom that Charmy the Bee was proven innocent right there on the spot, due to the immense fear the Charmy the Bee could easily smite them down with his Death Lord powers! A celebration was later held in Omega the Robot and Charmy the Bee's honor. During that very celebration, many woodland creatures became blood sacrifices, much Kool Aid was consumed, and Tails the Fox snuck off with Charmy the Bee's Blacked out body.

Shadow the Hedgehog met up with the group a place he would never go, so that his past self would never find him: a therapist's office. The group would have predicted as much from him, and met him there. When they arrived, he promptly withdrew his dick from Dr. Linda's bullet hole and began laying down a game plan.

"WE NEED TO FIND MARIAAAAAAAAA!"

"But how? She could literally be anywhere on Mobius!"

"Well you see, great nephew, Maria died of Space AIDS, and since she is technically reborn, she might still have it, and there's only one place where such mysterious diseases are created and treated, all the time!"

"Shadow the Hedeghog no! You're insane! We'll die in nano-seconds!"

"No, Rouge the Bat, we must go to…. **AFRICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!** " (You need to say it like Dr. Rabbit)

"But we can't! it's covered with Black Creatures! We will be eaten alive in seconds!" Omega the Robot Replied, Shadow the Hedgehog slapped Omega the Robot's stupid robo dick

"BAD ROBOT! Don't be so racist! It's shit like this why I'm on Tumblr so much!"

"..."

"TO AFRICA!" Shadow the Hedgehog yelled, and the team made preparations for the suicide mission. Rouge the Bat packed up on popcorn, and got her phone, whatever dumb shit was about to go down deserved to be recorded and posted on YouTube.

The team stocked up on Fried Chicken, Watermelon, two fiddy ounces of malt liquor and grape soda, and Rouge the Bat's army of Exotic Whores to sacrifice to the Black Creatures in case things got messy. Rouge the Bat took several pictures of them loading this stuff into Omega the Boat (Omega the Robot can transform into a Titanic sized boat, and can ironically crash twice as well!)

The merry crew of Team Dark and Team Mega Skank set off to Africa. They traveled through storms, and wind, and alot of other piratey shit. All was well, until the ship came to a sudden stop.

"YARG! Who disturbs me Tumblr posts!" Yelled Captain Shadow. He came out of his pile of dead hookers (most of them starved because they forgot to bring food they WEREN'T going to sacrifice,) and went to the front of the ship. Omega the Boat was fucking Samantha the Horny Kracken with his Canon Penis.

"GOD DAMNIT, BOY! QUIT FUCKING ABOVE AVERAGE SIZED SEA ANIMALS! IT'S A WASTE OF EVERYONE'S TIME!"

"But she feels so slimey and GOOD!"

"I don't care! We're moving on… We HAVE to move on..." said Shadow the Hedgehog, making a mental note to Block Vector the Alligator on Tumblr.

"FUCK YOU!" Shadow had enough of Omega the Robot's shit, he through a massive Chaos Harpoon at Omega the Boat's Robo dick, slicing it right off.

"DAMNIT, SHADOW! I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BUY A NEW ONE LATER!"

Samantha the Kraken was not pleased. She began to attack the ship.

"DAMNIT!" Yelled Capitan Shadow. Rouge the Bat turned her phone back on, this was gonna be good.

Samantha the Kraken began to slap Omega the Boat's hot boat ass, and tentacle rape all of the whores they had gathered for their encounter with the Black Creatures.

"Damnit! This is just like one of my Japanese animes!... Wait…. MY JAPANESE ANIMES! I KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Yelled Shadow the hedgehog, and he got out a School Girl's outfit.

"You want me to get in that, darling? I mean I'm game ,I've had my fair share of tentical fucks, but I don't know how-" Shadow the Hedgehog put on the uniform "-... Oh, okay." Rouge the Bat began to tape whatever Shadow the Hedeghog was doing.

Shadow the Schoolgirl then Chaos Controlled onto the Moon, and began to absorb it's power. After a really sexually confusing transformation scene, he turned into Sailor Shadow! A Sailor Soldier! (He went from a Captain to a Sailor, get it?). "IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, I WILL CHAOS PUNISH YOU!"

"HEY!" Yelled some guy from space ship "Are you Shadow the Hedgehog?"

"Um…. Yeah?"

"Awsome! I'm Wolf the Wolf! I'm a big fan of yours on Tumblr! I really admire your work"

"Oh sweet, thanks!"

"Wanna join my Space Crew "Star Wolf", We need a new guy since Pigma had a fatal being turned into bacon because we didn't have enough rations that one mission."

"No thanks, but I know a guy, Charmy the Bee, that tiny mother fucker can kill a man with his bare ass! I was on jury duty for the case on that… Or something. Don't really remember, I was texting during the case."

"His bare ass huh…. Sounds good, we'll look him up. Thanks bro!"

"No problem, Wolf the Wolf…. What was I doing?... Oh yeah, IN THE NAME OF THE MOON, I WILL CHAOS PUNISH YOU!"

He then Chaos Controlled back onto Omega the Boat, and threw his magic tiara at Samanta the Kraken, turning her to stone… For some reason, Omega the Butt then Rammed the shit out of her, causing her to turn to dust… And shit... For some reason x2.

All the surviving whores celebrated their hero Sailor Shadow, and gave him a victory paizuri. It was a good day to be black.

Eventually, the team reached Africa, where they were greeted by a few Black Creatures… Not tribal people, you racist fuck, I mean the aliens from Shadow the Hedgehog.

After the events of Shadow the Hedgehog, they fled to this land due to the military slaughtering their slimy asses over a huge misunderstanding.

Rouge the Bat hesitantly raised a cross made of Chicken and Watermelon next to her so Omega the Robot could use his flamethrower to set it on fire using the malt liquor and as a flammable substance, praying that they would see the peaceful sign of Christ burning bright and decide not to kill them. Rouge the Bat walked the flaming crucifix over to the Black Creatures to give as a peace offering, but this, combined with Rouge the Bat's white mask she always wears only made the Black Creatures uncomfortable for some reason.

Shadow the Hedgehog entered the hut of Black Doom, and Doom's Eye.

"Hi Dad! Sorry for killing you that one time, but I need serious help!"

"No problem, son, what can I do for you?"

"I need to know the location of MARIAAAAAAA!"

"GOD DAMNIT! DO YOU NEED TO YELL HER NAME LIKE THAT!?"

"Yes! God damnit dad! After all these years, you still don't get me! GAWD!"

"Oh god fucking damnit, I'm remembering why I left you for dead on that goddamned arch in the first place. Maria is in the hospital, getting treated for Space Aids, now get the fuck out of my house."

"Thanks dad!" Shadow the Hedgehog said.

"Yeah yeah yeah, fuck you."

"WAIT DAD! ONE LAST QUESTION!"

"God damnit. What?"

"Don't you have Space AIDS too?"

"Yeah, but I'm immune to to that shit. So what?"

"So MARIAAAAAAAA!'s my mom?"

"... GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

So Shadow the Hedgehog ran off to fuck his one true… Love? Mother? Niece? Best Freind? Sister? I don't know.

The team then bashed into the Black Creatue hospital.

"WHERE'S MARIAAAAAAAAAA!?"

"Ghish glorck mag litin fag jivften gock."

"Room 247, GOT IT! Oprah Winfrey! (A Black Creature Compliment.) The Black Creature Nurse blushed, and made a "oh, stop you," Motion.

Shadow the Hedgehoy ran all the way to Room 247, where MARIAAAAAAAA! Was getting Space Chemotherapy. It wasn't the cure to Space Aids, only Space Cancer, but Black Creatures let her do it anyways, cause they were low on money.

"So you finally made it, huh Shadow the Dickmule?" Said MARIAAAAAAA!, getting out of her Space Chemotherapy machine

"I don't want to fight you MARIAAAAAAAAA! I just want to fuck you! For it turned out you are my mom!"

"... Shut the fuck up." MARIAAAAAAA! slapped Shadow the Hedgehog across the face

"I'm sorry, BUT I REFUSE TO FIGHT!" MARIAAAAAAAAA! then stabbed Shadow the Hedeghog in the chest the a scapel

"I'll recover!" MARIAAAAAAAAA! then slashed Shadow the Hedgehog's dick off

"That will grow back!" MARIAAAAAAAAA! then cut shadow the necropiles's arm off"

"So will that!" Then went the other arm

"Just a flesh wound!" And his leg

"I've had worse!" And his other leg

"I refuse to fight!" And his head

"Okay, this is getting annoying." and his testicals

"I didn't even feel that one, dipshit." And then MARIAAAAAAAAA! blew up the entire hospital.

Shadow the Hedgeho regenerated and MARIAAAAAAAAA! got into a battle position. Rouge the Butt finally popped her popcorn and got out her phone, ready for the biggest pussy-off of all time. And Omega the Robot…. he was also recording this….. Mostly to poorly Photoshop into porn later because internet.

There was a really epic and messy fight of exchanged blows, sailto soldier magic, god like super moves, deflected blows, hard make-out sessions, and anal. But eventually, MARIAAAAAAAAA! fell over dead…. Not because Shadow the Hedgehog killed her, he didn't land a single damn blow, but because she finally caved into Space AIDS and died from that.

Shadow bent over, and closed her dead eyes. "Sleep easy, my sweet mother fucker…" Before anyone could point out the irony, Shadow screamed... "MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- Wait, why the fuck do I care?" He then began to Necro Rape her, cause that what he does best.

"Holy shit, I just uploaded this, and it's already gotten a million veiws on YouTube." Said Rouge the Bat. "We're the richest people in Africa!"

So, as Shadow the Hedgehog humped away at the lifeless corpse of his niece, the team decided to use their YouTube/Tumblr fame money to settle down and have a relaxing vacation/orgy in Africa, except for Omega the Robot, who got the fuck out of dodge because of his crippling fear of Black Creatures.

 **The End**


End file.
